TECOW EM Cell Group 1

laziness by jennynotjen
May 27, 2009, 3:01 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I am so lazy. Sometimes, I say it like I’m proud of it. Sometimes, I like being lazy; other times, I hate myself for being lazy.

The summer is already a month over, and I still have yet to find a job to help fund grad school. I guess I’m just praying a lot that my scholarships will come through, but I still do need to pay for rent on top tuition. Does relying on God make me lazy?

Yesterday my co-worker asked me what I do with my time, besides working at the pool. I couldn’t answer him – I feel as though I’m always busy, but I don’t think I do anything productive. I spend a lot of time commuting, working out, sleeping, and playing Restaurant City on Facebook (which oddly eats up a lot of my time), but those are not very productive things.

I know I shouldn’t be lazy – instead, I should be working hard at making the best of the opportunities given to me. So I’m going to apply to jobs today (hold me accountable, please!) and start looking for apartments in Montreal.

Why are people so lazy?



God the father by tigerlky
May 13, 2009, 12:15 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

since we were talking about parents and all last week… and unfortunately, i had a lot of time to think… this is what you get.

i have to make some things clear before i start, it kinda comes with being a writer (or wannabe writer, take your pick). i’ve been going to church ever since i could remember, and i always sort of took it for granted that He existed, and that christianity was true, you know, a normal mentality fora kid born into christianity. i’m not sure when the exact point was when i started questioning things and started being generally cynical (of course the two are highly related), but one memory stands out, and i’m not sure if it relates or not, but here it is:

one time, my brother, my father, and myself were sitting at the dinner table, probably when i was about twelve or thirteen. when i started eating, my father admonished me for not praying before the meal. i responded by asking him why he didn’t pray. he said, somewhat emphatically, “i’m not christian!” i remember being shocked – not like, drop-spoon-go-to-corner-and-cry shocked – but shocked nonetheless. and that may be the first time that my religious landscape started to change. or maybe not. like i said, i don’t quite remember.

that kinda got me thinking about the weight behind the meaing, “God the Father.” it’s one of those things where, it’s always in front of you, but you’re surprised when you realize it’s there. i wondered, why would God want to be known as a father? for a lot of my early childhood, i spent the bulk of it being afraid of the volatility of my father. he’s not like a raging alcoholic or anything, and he never was. let’s just say he was… traditional. but then, i realized, for me, God was just like my father. kinda like a space-God, ruling from millions of lightyears away. distant. and my prayers slowly drifting through saturn’s rings… … … i wonder if he’s received my prayers yet? my father always provided for me what i need and a lot of what i want. i can talk about food and shelter, but that’s really boring. but he did give me those things. him giving me the things i wanted is a lot more interesting. i loved sports ever since i was young. call it “being a boy,” but for me, it was far beyond that. hockey night in canada meant that i could stay up til 11, or even 12. sports commitments after school saved me from violin practice. more impoortantly, it was (is?) the one bond that my father and i shared. he enrolled me into tennis camp, although i only took it because they took us swimming at the end of every day. he hired me a private tennis tutor, which i enjoyed, but in the end, i didn’t show a lot of promise in the sport. but even as a kid, these gestures were more important than lego. the silent man who barely grunted at us, wore sunglasses in the house (they were his prescription, but still…), and busyed himself doing housework most of the time, became animate. we would engage in lively discussions about who was the better player? mats sundin or daniel alfredsson? he took me ice skating during winter break. he drove me to hockey games on saturdays and then to practice on mondays. i’m not gonna say something cheesy like, “sports was the key to the locket of my father’s heart,” but i will say this: i talked about sports, my father responded with more than a word.

there is a point to all this banter. space-God was just like my father. at least until… i discovered that sports wasn’t something me and space-God had in common. he provided me with life and everything that goes with it, the very mind to write this, but aside from the necessities, i felt i was mostly left to my own devices… no, this is a mistake. I still feel this way, to be quite honest. space-God. space-father. emotionally unavailable. space. for me, God does not have the fire-in-your-loins kind of closeness that many christians seem to have. the intimate God, i suppose. but initmacy is something i have come to be deathly afraid of. and there is no sports for me to disguise it with.

i’m not looking for advice, nor am i looking for someone to tell me that God does like sports. this is the God that i know. space-God. one of the many, many things that shape my views on christianity, and religion in general. maybe one day i’ll make sense of it all.


WHAT IS IT ALL FOR? by 1nv35t3df41th
May 6, 2009, 9:34 pm
Filed under: Scripture

We are a piece of something that we cannot imagine and understand.

our lives, the limited time, the unbearable workloads, the stress, the countless hours, only a small part of something that is infinite. if our motivation is selfish we can only see as far as ourselves…and for some this motivation is enough. If our motivation is familial and communal then love, duty and responsibility are our motivation and our scope has been widened to see how our efforts can help others. if our motivation is generational, even if we do not see the fruits of our labors, our motivation is infinite and our scope has thus equally increased.

what is it that we leave our children? what kind of works are we setting up for them to finish and pass on with new develpments? will we work hard only to spoil our children or conversely will we do nothing and consume everything leaving our children with a hole in the ground and piles of dirt (ALBERTA IN THE FUTURE)? what is it that we want to pass down to our children, money, land, power, influence, morals, ideals, vision, passion? what is it that we want to be infinite about our lives?

when i die, i do not want a plaque or a statue or a name plate. my family and children will remember me, and maybe the next generation, but my name and what i will accomplish will not go beyond the generations. what i want is my faith, my ideals, my fight for a just world, these kind of things to get passed down, my essence rather than my material worth. then what is it all for?

it is for Christ, and the Kingdom of God and how i understand these concepts as infinite, as moving as alive. then my story as small and as insignigicant as it is, becomes something more, a part of the infinite. how unworthy, yet how beautiful my life, my failures, my accomplishements will be.

it is our turn, our generation’s chance to start moving this world in the right direction and to start the process…this is what i recieve from our parents generation and this is what i hand down. then where do we begin??? perhaps a vision…a vision of what my children will take over from me. a vision of what there children will receive. a vision of a better world. an ideal to a reality. are you ready to start being a part of imagining and understanding what it is all for?

Exodus 20:6 and showing a covenant of faithfulness to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Exodus 20:12- honor your mother and father, that you may live a long time in the land the Lord your God is giving to you.