TECOW EM Cell Group 1

Thank You (a LONG pointless heated rant) by 1nv35t3df41th
February 9, 2009, 1:16 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

i’m walking towards yonge on madawaska and im almost at the intersection, when out of the corner of my eye i see the bus. i look back at the lights and im in luck, the lights have changed, so i can cross and catch the bus. just as am taking my first step, i notice it is an express…i slow my pace and think to myself “oh well ill catch the next one (i can see another non-express bus turning onto yonge from steeles. yes my eyes are that good).

i get across the street and there is an old white lady (who will be referred to as innocent bystander from here on in) walking towards the express bus. surprisingly the bus doors open. i take four quick paces and im in the bus taking out a token from my pocket. innocent bystander is going through her bag and is looking for her wallet so i think to myself “ill just pop in the token, say thank you and walk around her”. as i am pulling the token out of my pocket the white male bus driver (who will be referred to as enemy hence forth) looking at innocent bystander, with a self-righteous smile on his face says “maybe you should teach him to say thank you too”. how i interpreted it “teach your asian monkey some manners!”

i quickly say thank you and move towards the back doors of the bus meanwhile thinking to myself, “what just happened?” As the bus travels south towards Finch my mind starts going. im thinking about a million different things which if i shared with you, you would get bored and stop reading right now. thinking to myself that enemy probably did this because he thought i could not speak english and wouldn’t be able to defend myself i get mad.

by the time the bus gets to bishop i am thinking that i should wait till everyone gets off the bus and confront the enemy and politely explain to him that i did not appreciate his “lesson” on manners and that i think that i deserved an apology.

i walk off the back of the bus giving myself the excuse that i would have to bump into people trying to get off the back of the bus.

on the subway i start doing what Nietzsche says weak people do. i avoided the confrontation so i start fantasizing about what i could’ve or should’ve said. here are some of my play backs…

ENEMY (looking very dumb with snot coming out of his nose) “huh huh you teach monkey manners huh huh”

1. COOL AND WITTY ME (WITH SUN GLASSES ON, WIND BLOWING THROUGH MY HAIR AND AN ANTONIO BANDERAS SPANISH ACCENT) “Thank you for your lesson on manners, but perhaps if you had given me a chance to express my thanks then we would not be in this situation. even if i had walked in without saying thanks would your good deed have not been noticed. did you open the doors for innocent bystander and myself to hear a thank you and to satisfy your own longings of being a “good person”

2. SARCASTIC SERVANT ME (sarcastically bowing with a long flowing cape)”thank you oh greatness for your gracious, generous and kind actions my life has been exponentially filled with joy that i did not have to wait for the bus behind yours and that YOU an express bus have opened the doors to me, a lowly asian man, at a red light even though you did not have too. i am forever in your debt”.

3. CENSORED REBELLIOUS PISSED OFF TOUGH GUY ME (with biker vest and ripping muscles) #$%$ @$% @#%@#%% @##$ @!%!^^@!!!! as i throw random punches into the air and get escorted off the bus.

4. HARRY POTTER SMART GUY ME (with round thick glasses and a smile on my face) “Thank you” (take two steps and look back at innocent bystander) “maybe you should teach him how to say your welcome…or sorry for being so rude!”

5. ANTI-RACIST SPOKESPERSON ME (when everything is about race and with a fake chinese accent and broken english) “oh so you wante white women get on bus but no yerro man. why you say my eyes smarr. you eyes so big..big eyez! in china we no say tank you… too many people! wait to long for everyone say tank you! i no say tank you because make you wait to long. you express bus no speak…just go! GO GO!!” (while walking back and waving him forward with my hands)

my actual response (stepping forward and saying it with haste) “thank you” (which i was going to say while putting my token in and which i usually do for express bus or not) “which i was going to say, but that’s ok!…” genius!!!

loving your enemy is not easy… bad mouthing him on a web blog is.